


And They Called It Longing

by Kanae



Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Aikoto Week 2020, Day 2, F/M, Prompt: Missing You, prompt: first love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25150747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanae/pseuds/Kanae
Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day and Makoto’s withering a little more with each passing day.
Relationships: Aigis/Arisato Minato, Aigis/Persona 3 Protagonist, Aigis/Yuuki Makoto (Persona Series)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40
Collections: Makoto/Minato & Aigis Week





	And They Called It Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2nd Day of #AikotoWeek20, to the prompts "Missing You" and "First Love".

**And They Called It Longing**

.

.

.

Makoto feels drowsy.

It seems to be a constant nowadays, and that doesn’t change despite how hard he tries to concentrate on Junpei’s energetic rambling. Makoto clings to his words and forces himself to blink the sleep away; to swallow the sour taste pooling in his mouth and hum his agreement to Junpei’s latest diatribe.

If he focuses on Junpei, then he won’t have to think about what it means.

It. The bone-deep exhaustion that has clung to him like a second skin ever since that day.

Fragments of the battle flash before his eyes. He shuts them close and shakes his head lightly. The memories dissipate, but Igor’s voice remains like a trail of smoke.

_‘You were truly a remarkable guest.’_

“Hey! You zoning out or something, dude?” Junpei waves a hand in front of Makoto’s face, but doesn’t wait for an answer. “I mean, I _get_ it, you know? But still, you’d think at least _someone_ would give me some chocolate, even if it’s just giri-choco!”

_Chocolate…? Ah, that’s right. Today is…_

Makoto glances at the calendar hung on the board. February 14th is circled with red market, and someone even drew little red hearts all over it. Despite St. Valentine’s being the talk of everyone in class, he has somehow managed to forget all about it.

_But, then again…_

Makoto turns towards the vacant seat by his side with a heavy heart.

He hasn’t seen Aigis at school. Not since that battle.

The first time he caught a glimpse of blonde hair disappearing into one of the dorm’s empty rooms, his heart almost stopped. Thinking back to it, that must have been the moment his memories started to return.

It happened gradually, at first. Figments of moments and conversations devoid of any sense. Until everything suddenly came back all at once, and Makoto was left reeling from the sheer magnitude of it all.

Afterwards, Makoto tried to catch her again but to no avail. Not needing to eat nor to relieve herself made it so Aigis could virtually never leave her room. He has thought of knocking on her door many times, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

It hurts enough to see the blissful ignorance in Junpei’s and Yukari’s eyes every day. The utter indifference in Mitsuru’s and Akihiko’s. The distant politeness in Fuuka’s and Ken’s. The curiosity in Koromaru’s.

If he were to knock on Aigis’s door and find nothing but icy confusion in her eyes, he may lose what little strength he has left.

And he needs it, all of it. Now more than ever.

_But, still…_

He's surrounded by spaces Aigis used to fill. Finding them empty makes his heart ache.

_This would’ve been Aigis’s first Valentine’s Day, wouldn’t it…?_

Makoto wonders what Aigis would think of the tradition, if the circumstances were different. Would she find it pointless? Or would she try to participate, if only to understand human girls better? Maybe she would have tried to make handmade chocolate. Hopefully without asking Fuuka for help, because that could have been a recipe for disaster.

A fond smile flits onto his face at the thought, but it withers almost as quickly as it appears.

_No… it’s better like this._

He may be able to fool Junpei and Yukari, but if Aigis were there—if Aigis remembered, she wouldn’t miss it.

She would realize he’s fading a little more with each passing day.

Makoto’s heart sinks.

_Sorry, Aigis…_

If possible, he'd rather spare her that much, at least.

Even if it means staying away.

_You've always protected me... I guess this is my turn to repay the favor._

He just wishes it wasn't this painful.

* * *

Aigis stands at the end of the hall, eyes tightly shut.

_This was a terrible idea._

It’s far from the first time she has acknowledged the futility of her actions, and yet the thought still fills her with an emotion she knows only too well.

Guilt.

 _I should stay away_.

It has become her mantra, ever since her memories came back. She was disoriented, at first. So utterly lost. But one glimpse of him was all it took, and the memories of that fight—of him—came flooding like tides over the shore. The urge to go to him, to make sure that he wouldn’t be going anywhere, was so strong it almost overwhelmed her.

But she knew better. She knows better.

It wouldn’t be right for her to interfere. They had made a promise, _all of them_ —the promise that they would remember. She needs to believe in them, let the memories come on their own. It could be too much for them to process if she doesn’t.

However, this isn’t the reason that has kept her locked away in her room, paralyzed with uncertainty.

The thought of facing him only to find nothing but confusion in his eyes is frightening.

And yet—

She’s still standing there, clutching a box to her chest.

 _I’m being unreasonable_. _Is this also… what it means to ‘live’?_

The bell rings before she can try to find an answer. With a start, she realizes that more than an hour has transpired since her arrival. Little by little, students start to fill the halls, animatedly chatting with each other. Junpei and Yukari are among them, and just seeing them is enough to make her eyes sting with tears.

She blinks them away, wills herself to clear her head. Warily, she peeks around the wall but sees no sight of him anywhere. Aigis sighs, relieved. The last thing she wants is to run into him.

 _Makoto-san must have been held back by one of his friends_.

It’s only when the halls have gone silent that Aigis allows herself to move, her legs taking her towards the classroom she once called her own. Nostalgia washes over her as she stands before the door, a fond smile taking to her lips.

_‘This spot will be perfect... Because I wish to always be by his side.’_

She wishes she had understood it, then. The reason why being close to him filled her with such joy.

She can almost see him shake his head at her with a gentle smile. _What matters is that you understand it now, Aigis,_ he would tell her, if he could.

The thought makes her heart ache, but the pain is bittersweet.

Aigis is still smiling when she draws the door open and steps inside, only to promptly freeze in place.

There, head resting on his arms, sat none other than Makoto himself. Asleep.

All at once, she's struck by so many opposing emotions that she fears she may short-circuit.

_Ten meters._

Ten meters are all that separates her from Makoto.

This is the closest she has been to him since he came back to them after that fateful battle. The mere sight of him is devastating. A part of her is thankful she does not need to breathe, because she’s sure she wouldn’t be able to even if she could.

 _I must leave before he wakes up_. _Before—_

Before he could stare at her with those bottomless, impossibly kind eyes of his and ask her, _Do I know you?_

But she finds that she can’t. Instead, her legs take her closer to him, until she's standing before him. His bangs have gotten longer, his skin paler but he is still every bit as beautiful as she remembers him.

_Makoto-san…_

Carefully, softly, her fingers brush away his bangs, the touch as light as the flapping of a butterfly’s wings.

 _Longing_.

Her mind lights with recognition as it repeats the word, its meaning the very reflection of the feeling running through her circuits.

_Makoto-san, I…_

* * *

When his eyes flutter open, the sun is starting to set and the classroom is painted in orange hues.

He's surprised Junpei and Yukari allowed him to sleep for this long, but he's grateful for it. He had a nice dream, and though he can no longer remember what it was about, it has left behind a pleasant afterglow.

He stifles a yawn and reaches for his bag, gaze flickering to Aigis’s empty seat out of habit.

But the usual pang of loneliness doesn’t come.

There's a jolt of surprise instead.

The seat is no longer empty. There's a small black box on it. A black box tied together with—

_A red ribbon._

Makoto grabs it with trembling fingers, heart beating in his throat.

Carefully, he unties the familiar ribbon and removes the lid. Three rows of home-made chocolate lay inside, alongside a card.

 _Happy Saint Valentine’s day_ , it reads and his chest throbs as he traces the neat calligraphy with his fingertips. The handwriting is so familiar, it'd be impossible to mistake it.

Almost as familiar as the bittersweet ache that overcomes him whenever he thinks of her.

“Happy Valentine’s…” he whispers to the empty classroom, voice as soft as the touch of the ribbon in his hands. "… Aigis."

And her very name tastes like longing.

.

.

.

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> I must've written like five different versions of this before I gave up and decided to keep it simple. I'm not entirely happy with it, but at least it's finished!


End file.
